We sing to Emilia A LOT. What we sing the most (though there are some Counting Crows and Les Miserables sprinkled in) are hymns.
While we've sung some of them (cough, cough: "Come Thou Fount") so many times now that the words are basically meaningless, there are others that are still so powerful that we find ourselves weeping in the midst of rocking Emmy to sleep.
When Emilia was only a couple of weeks old, that song for me was "Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken." Here are the lines that got to me the most:
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.
I'll be honest, what was so powerful to me in these words were how deeply I was in love with Emilia, not how deeply I was in love with Christ. I kept thinking, "I'll give up everything - all my hopes and plans and dreams and ambitions - just to keep you safe and make you happy. And I'll do it cheerfully, gladly, without another thought or a single regret, because you are that wonderful." I was (only then, perhaps for the first time) able to translate the emotions I felt towards my sweet, teeny tiny daughter to my relationship with the Lord. Yes, I am also willing to give up anything for Him, and yes, I could and would do so with a joyful heart (most likely), knowing that what He offers is so much greater than anything I could ever choose for myself. But it is still somehow easier to have a tangible person, little though she may be, in my arms, for me to know that all my strivings are in vain. Perhaps what I am forced to relinquish (i.e., regular showers, sitting down during meals, happy hours, regular and frequent date nights with my husband, fast forward progress towards my degree, etc. etc. etc.) in order to be Emmy's mother is already the Lord working in my heart and showing me how much better his plans for me are than my own?
Recently, the song has been "Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul." This song was particularly powerful for me one night last week, after several nights of poor sleep due to Emilia's stuffy nose. I was exhausted, as was Emmy. The problem was that she was also hungry, but because she was both tired and hungry, she couldn't calm down enough either to eat or to sleep. Finally, finally after singing this song to her and laying in the bed with her, she fell asleep for an hour or two. After some sleep she was able to remain calm enough to eat and then go back to sleep for the night (or, at least for a couple of hours).
This song has continued to be calming for both Emilia, Taylor, and me. I'll post it here in full:
Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel
2. But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust
3. Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner's prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there
4. Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet
©1998, Kevin Twit Music.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
I am so thankful for four years of singing hymns regularly in RUF at Vanderbilt, and
then five more years singing in liturgical PCA churches, so that now I have many beautiful hymns at my disposal. I hope that Emilia will grow up to appreciate the
depth of these lovely and true words that she has heard even from her very first days
of life.
And because, as I've said before, no post is complete without a picture, here is Emmy
"singing":
